Quit sucking Apple’s dick

The Case against the iPad « Bottom-up

So apparently Apple has introduced some stupid thing called the iPad, which, menstruation jokes aside, seems to be some kind of wireless screen ebook reader doodad. I can’t imagine what one would want with it. Dude linked to above reviews the thing and points out how annoying it is for the device to not have normal ports (like a USB connection) as well as how it lacks multitasking and is a closed system to third party developers.

Predictably, fanboys converge on the thread to point out the benevolence of our Malusian (Is that a word? Is now!) overlords. See, the closed system is for your own good! It allows Apple to build a platform that works, as opposed to all other platforms which totally don’t (after all, have you ever heard of anyone productively using anything other than an Apple product? Didn’t think so!). And the DRM that’s built into all Apple products is so, like, not at all Apple’s fault! Also, not being able to multitask is to keep you from running a program that might wear down your battery in the background or something, I don’t know. Freedom is slavery and war is peace are about the only things missing from that comment section.

I don’t know if the iPad is any good; I suspect, given the lukewarm reviews, that the answer is no. But more importantly, the release of a nowhere-near-perfect Apple product gives us all an opportunity to watch some wonderful cognitive dissonance in action. Instead of acknowledging the shortcomings of the product as actual shortcomings (like a normal person would do), the devotees of the Cult of Jobs will jump through any hoop to rationalize why things were done the way they were. Simple motives like “trying to control the bottleneck to your device so you can make money off it” never seem to enter the conversation. Apple is never anything less than omniscient and perfectly good and therefore everything it ever does is for a good reason.

I don’t care what platform you use; use whatever the fuck works for you, seriously. But don’t, as the proverb says, piss on me and tell me that it’s raining.

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